February 21, 2009
Awaiting Spring


I woke up this morning, and realized that we are only one week away from March. The sun has moved into Pisces on the astrological calendar, and that means – spring is on the way!

This winter, I took the term “hibernation” to heart. I spent countless hours settling into my couch under a blanket with a glass of wine or cup of tea, watching the modern four seasons of Doctor Who, day-dreaming of adventures through time and space.


The end of 2008 felt to me very much like a time to quiet myself – to pause and step back from my regular patterns, to assess what was working and what wasn’t, and to feel that natural sadness that comes up during the dark, cold winter months. Then 2009 began, and I was still sitting in that place of hibernation a bit, having let the plants on my fire escape whither and die, and knowing that this is time of year when things fall away.

Over the course of the past week, I have begun to feel something move again – like the roots of plants underneath the soil beginning to stir with life. I have a picture in my mind of a seed, just beginning to crack – the muted brown tones of the outer casing break open, and in the darkness of the opening, the phosphorescent green of life deliberately embarks on its uncoil.


Something feels like it is stirring within me, too, and it has inspired me to feel true appreciation for what is right and perfect in my life. In fact, it has inspired me to accept and understand that everything is right and perfect in my life, right now, exactly as it is. There is no lack. What felt like a tremendous loss, was simply the natural turn of a season. Maybe what they call “Seasonal Affective Disorder,” is not a disorder at all, but just a natural time for quiet introspection, and even sadness. And if I can accept that everything I was feeling was divinely right, even in the darkness, I can begin to see so many things around me that contribute to my abundant well-being.


In my desire to be more fully appreciative, I am trying to more consistently look around me – closely – to see what I have right now. To see what is supporting me emotionally, and also to see what I have that might help others at this time, as we start to grow and stretch our inner phosphorescence out into the sun.

Today, I realized that I have a beautiful relationship with my houseplants. They don’t need much from me – just daily watering and a helping of compost once in awhile – and yet they give me so much! They provide fresher air in my home, a palpable energy, and something lovely to look at soaking in the light from the windows and the skylight. They remind me how simply being aware of the energy of light in my home makes me happy.


These photos were shot on my iPhone, of a moneywort plant I have in a planter on my bedroom windowsill. I love seeing this plant perk up on its ends, reaching for the sky, and fearlessly spreading out. My appreciation would not otherwise have these depths, except that – in contrast – I am coming out of hibernation, and thus I am reminded that everything really does have a season.


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