March 3, 2010
Back in the Day, I’d Have Been a Newspaper Gal

The rush of news that has to go out. The challenge of finding the words, and capturing images that tell the real essence of the story. The time-constraints. The politics. The pressure.

Heck, I don’t mind pressure. In fact, I love it! I’ve been known to break down in tears after a pressure-filled week ends because I don’t know how to fill my time! I spent several years exploring the anti-dote to this love of pressure, assuming it was an ailment to be exorcised. I studied shamanism and other ancient cultures, to see what they had to say about the way to be in the world. I practiced yoga and meditation. I learned to calm what appeared to be external chaos, by tapping into my ability to control my own mind.

Several peaceful years were spent, blogging, exploring, thinking, pondering, and observing. I loved every minute of that, too! Did it alleviate my love of pressure, though? Not in the slightest. Constraints are wonderful for creativity – as I’ve always known, particularly when I was younger and resources for my dreamed-up projects were scarce. Opening up so much mental space was certainly a wonderful exercise in accessing a broad sense of possibility, but now I find myself wanting to pin down specific goals – and it’s the channeling of energy towards specificity that allows me to see my own whims become manifest. So, here, then, must be another use for pressure.

A sizing down of possibilities. A narrowing in on specific actions to yield desired results. Last year, the American economy broke all kind of precedents, and lots of us opened ourselves to other possibilities, as doing business the usual way seemed no longer to work. What I’m feeling in the air now is a buckling back down. A re-dedication to desires made manifest. To results. Period.

It feels like finally sinking one’s teeth into something again. It feels like hanging on tight and going for a ride, instead of being knocked off ones feet or flung around aimlessly. It feels like it’s time to dust ourselves off and see clearly again. Maybe with a more enhanced vision, blending open-mindedness with determination – neither one any longer in danger of falling victim to naivete, but having the other there like a system of checks and balances.

A wise shaman once told me that the predictions of 2012 weren’t literally that the world would end – but that human consciousness would shift at such a heightened rate that we’d hardly recognize it. I certainly see myself evolving at warp speed these days. You?

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