Okay, I admit it. Sometimes I get a little obsessive inside my head about esoteric things like the meaning of life, the existence of God, and what love is. One of my favorite authors, Marianne Williamson, says that love is all there is. That anything that isn’t love is false.
It sounds really strange on the surface — what does that mean, everything besides love is false? That unless I’m all starry-eyed twenty-four-seven that I’m living a lie? Yeah, right!
There’s some truth in there, for me, though. It does, in fact, feel like things that are approached without love are somehow not really there. When I show up and pour my heart into something, I feel enlivened, I feel exhilarated — I am utterly present. What an audacious idea — that when I feel that way is the only time I am truly living. I don’t know if I am capable of sustaining that all the time.
Yet, that’s okay, too. Because if I don’t sustain it all the time, it isn’t even real, if only love is real.
I believe in God. I don’t know if I mean that like most people would mean it, mainly because I don’t like to be told how to think about it. Then again, of all the religions I have explored, it is the utter awe of the mystery of life that is at the base of things — no one really knows how to think about it. I like to ponder things deeply, and create an understanding of the world that works for me. And, it seems like I do get what most people are calling God, and that seems like a convenient name.
I believe in the magical mystery of a divine consciousness, of something infinitely more vast than we are able to conceive of within the constraints of our physical minds. I believe there is so much more wonder to the world than most of us ever even begin to realize that it is mind-boggling. I believe that Quantum Physics is closing the rift between religion and science. I believe I am a vessel for something much greater than myself as an individual person, and that my unique perceptions have special value to the greater whole.
Watching science fiction films and TV shows like Doctor Who are riveting for me because they place us, as people, in a much bigger context than we usually live in. Normally, we go to work, observe social conventions, try to be a good spouse/sibling/son/daughter, make a good living, save some money, pay down debts, and maybe, more of us than ever before, give air time to our dreams, and how to go about living them.
Many days go by, for a lot of us, during which we don’t even conceive of the earth spinning around the sun, even though we base our sleep cycle on it. How many times does the moon rise without us even noticing? Do we even consider the fact that we are part of this amazing solar system, galaxy, Universe, as we drive our cars to complete our errands?
Mostly, we don’t. We just go about our day. We have created routines and rituals for ourselves, and there are nice feelings of safety and comfort in them. But we are not enlivened, exhilarated, nor totally present. So, does that mean, perhaps, that our daily routines are false?
What if only as we gaze out into the stars, knowing just how very little we know, and having that knowledge take our breath away is when we are actually awake to who we are?
Or, what if love is truly so vast that it even protects me as I drive to my routine appointments, smiling obliviously, as music pours through the radio, and I get lost in the vibrations of the wheels on road.