Category: Uncategorized

Happiness

I have decided to be happy.

Against all odds, I have decided to be happy. This goes against everything our parents and ancestors have taught us – that we are striving for something or fighting against something. But instead of occupying myself with things like that, I’ve decided to occupy myself in what I believe to be a more effective way – with being happy.

It’s like they say, “You can’t ‘fight war.’ You have to exude peace.” Because fighting war is still fighting, DUH! And striving for happiness is really just “striving,” it’s not Happiness. Unless you can find happiness in the striving, find peace and enjoyment in the stress. I don’t know a lot of people who are striving in that way, though. Most of us are just striving.

But I’ve been focused on the striving long enough (my whole life!), and now I am focusing on the happiness. Do you remember glee? Perhaps from your childhood? Do you ever let yourself feel that? It’s still there. If all the other life lessons are still there, so is your ability to experience glee. But we haven’t learned to value glee. We are have not been rewarded for it by our parents (at least not consistently) or by our society, so we hesitate to share it or even experience it. Does anyone else see that that’s kind of stupid?

Science tells us we only use 10% of our brain power. What do you suppose that is all about?! Well, we learn, we are taught, to assimilate experiences in certain ways. As we get older and supposedly wiser, we STOP fully experiencing things in the moment. We say, “Oh, that in the sky is the Northern Lights.” Factual, to the point, smart. And someone says, “Wow, you’re Smart.” But oh, imagine being a child and seeing the sky light up in sweeps of red and orange and white, giant lines forming and gradually shifting, immensely and completely covering the gigantic sky from horizon to horizon. That is to experience, “AWE.” In awe, there is no conception of smart, of needing to know the name of something, or seek a reward from someone. There is no striving. There is only a glimpse of unlimitedness. How often do we let our brains contact a sense of unlimitedness? Perhaps that would take us up closer to 100% of our brain power.

And, dare I say, since we’re only using part of our brain, we’re not happy! We don’t let ourselves experience the part of our brain that is happy. Part of our brain IS happy, I believe, but collectively we do not reward each other’s happiness – and so we don’t encourage it in one another. We’re always told we need to have and do more to be happy. What if we told each other, “You’re enough. Just as you are. You will always grow and change – it’s inevitable. But right now, in this moment, you are perfect.”

What if we were gleeful? What if when everyone looked at us, it was with the gleeful expression of a child? What would we have to fear? What would block us in our striving and keep us perpetually in a state of it? Then there would be no strife, there would just be gleeful forward motion!

So, I have chosen my crusade: I am happy. That is my crusade. It is very, very challenging to allow one’s brain to access thoughts of happiness in this world today, when everyone and everything around you is full of stress, tension, dissatisfaction, and injustice. Maybe more challenging than any fight or attempt to correct any of those flaws. I know only a few inspiring people who literally want to put happiness ABOVE all their other goals. That’s why most people have goals – to try to get to happiness! I have decided to forge myself a short-cut, and go directly to Happy. I’m just happy. Imagine that!

Summer Solstice

Summer is such a glorious time of year! The sun’s intense energy is high, and it seems like the whole wide world is in full bloom with possibilities.

Below is a shot I took on my recent trip to Ohio – it is a pathway in the garden surrounding Stan Hywet Hall in Akron, Ohio, the historic mansion belonging to the Sieberling family (Mr. Sieberling was the founder of Goodyear, the tire company). Look how lush the trees are!


Even the night air is warm in the summer time – one of my favorite delights is taking a walk through the city on a mild evening after dark. This year, there is some flowering tree that must have had a good season, because everywhere I go, all around New York, I can smell its brilliant fragrance. I don’t know what it is, but it is sweet, and fresh, and strong – inspiring qualities, if I say so myself!

Summer is the time for little excursions and adventures, as well as putting projects into full swing. Somehow, it seems like everything is heightened all at once. I both want to go on more little vacations, and also work my hardest this time of year. Is it because the days are so long? Is it because the weather is so pleasant that I want to maximize it both for pleasure and for productivity?

Whatever it is, nature does it again, always knowing exactly the right season for everything. Summer’s energy is so big, it’s hard to ignore nature this time of year, as it provides gift after gift of pleasant sights (blue skies, plants in bloom), pleasant feelings (soft air on skin, warmth), pleasant smells (flowers, plants, fresh air), and pleasant tastes (strawberries!). I’m no hippie, but the summer sure makes me think I could have been one.

Modeling for Angela Cappetta – the results!

The photos that Angela Cappetta took of me have been submitted to the stock house and are now ready for license! I was very excited when Angela shared this tip with me:

Go to www.gettyimages.com.

Click on “creative.”

Type “Cappetta” in the search box.

Voila! Fun photos of me modeling with cupcakes. I especially like the face I’m making when it looks like I’m about to bite into that slice of cake. I did eat quite a few cupcakes that day, as I recall…

And, check out Angela’s other work, too! She’s an incredible documentary-style photographer, with an unbelievably quirky eye. Her work alternately cracks me up and makes me think. I love her. I especially love her shots of the burning chair, which you will also see on her Getty page. (Follow the link below to visit her website.) Enjoy!

Angela is one of my mentors and I simply adore her work. There is such a subtlety of tone to the way she captures a moment, that I can feel her hand as an artist when I view her images – the same way I feel it when I look at the most successful paintings in museums. She is truly a genius.

Angela has that gift that young artists are always seeking to find – that “je ne sais pas” that is uniquely hers. It is real substance, real emphasis on the perspective of the artist, unlike so many of the images that pass by our eyes every day in the media, purposely intended to relate to the perspective of you the viewer, rather than give voice to something as subtle as the shooter’s innermost thoughts about what she or he is observing. Angela is an excellent modern-day role model for young artists because her vision is so distinct. Instead of trying to emulate anyone else, she pushes the “self” in her work to be more and more evident – which is what only a great artist of any time is capable of.

Did I mention that I LOVE the burning chair?


photos by: Angela Cappetta


Self-Reflection

[Or, “What kind of art school would this be without occasional self-portrait and self-reflection assignments?”]

Today I was being interviewed [for an undisclosed purpose], and I was asked to describe myself. At first I thought, “Hmmm, well, what does it say on my facebook profile? It says I’m always ‘having epiphanies.'” And it’s true!

As the questioning continued, I thought long and hard about what having epiphanies about life and creativity have to do with one another. I thought about my passion for inspiring people, and how I love to see others inspiring people as well. For example, the David Lynch Foundation has created a program for teaching students how to meditate, and has had some phenomenal results with reducing and even eliminating violence in schools!

So, one might ask (and my interviewer did), “So, why don’t you teach meditation? Why photography?”

Well, that is a good question. I feel that meditation, yoga, any form of relaxation and centering that helps me to focus is useful in that it clears some of the clutter from my mind. But my real epiphanies are about tangible, physical results in the world I live in. There are many people who are great at clearing their minds and helping others to do so. I am better at pondering things and coming up with creative solutions and ideas. My real goal is to inspire people through example and encouragement – therefore, my ability to meet my larger goals of affecting the world relies upon my willingness to pursue my own success.

Often, I tell the story about when I was a small child, and how I would become completely overwhelmed by my existence in a moment. Everything felt utterly magical. I remember seeing things on the street where I grew up in Cleveland – everyday things like a tree or the way a wire fence had been bent down over time – and finding them so beautiful and perfect that I wished they could be recorded forever. That is why I am a photographer. It has taken me years to identify that story as the most important story of my career, and maybe even my life. And as time goes on, I find better and better ways to explain what I didn’t have words for when I was small.

I believe that everyone has a dream like this. Maybe they don’t remember what it is. Maybe it comes to them as a recurring thought. Maybe they never lost sight of it at all, and they are always working towards it – then they are lucky. I think for most people, it is something that escapes them a lot of the time, having been socialized to prioritize other responsibilities. In the pursuit of this dream, of creating art out of the beauty of my life experience, I hope that I inspire people along the way who are trying to come back into contact with their dreams.

Just that thought keeps me going when I have been working too hard, when there are archives to go through, submissions to be made, and photos due to several clients. Each time I interact with anyone, it is a chance for them to come into contact with evidence that it is all right to live your dream. I take that as a pretty serious calling to live that evidence!

The interviewer asked, “What is your biggest dream?”

And I said, “I want to change the world!”

I blurted it out, and then thought to myself, “Doesn’t everyone?” I really do believe that we all have a gift inside that feels large enough to impact the world, and so we all really do have a sense that we might and could. Whether your environment is big or small, the energy you bring to it really does make a difference. And that environment is related to others, and those to others, and on and on.

So, we’re all changing the world all the time. Isn’t that worth making art about? I sure think so.

Avatar

While inside nursing a little cold today, I used Yahoo Avatars to make this cartoon version of myself:
Yahoo! Avatars

What fun! There is something oddly futuristic about making oneself an avatar. If the program to do so had existed during my childhood, I would have had so much fun with it! Perhaps it’s my inner child that is getting such a big kick out of it now…

An “avatar,” is symbolic, graphic representation of a character. The program that Yahoo.com offers enables you to select features for your avatar from eye shape and color, to hair, to clothing style. And, through the magic of technology, it combines all of the elements you enter into this “cartoon” version of the person you’re trying to create. I made the one above of me. You could make yourself, your significant other, or some fictional character just for the fun of it. Give it a try!

Here’s the link: http://avatars.yahoo.com.

T-Shirt Success Story – Nashville

My friend Jen just sent me these shots of her from the streets of Nashville, wearing the t-shirt I made for her when she moved there from Brooklyn this past winter.

The “Nashville is the new Brooklyn” shirt is a one-of-kind variation on the “California is the new Brooklyn” design I created, which is available for sale online by following this link to www.zazzle.com/sarahsloboda.


Jen tells me that the Bluebird Café, which she is standing in front of in these photos, is a famous Nashville place of discovery for musicians and bands. I haven’t been to Nashville in awhile, but I remember that it was really fun! Jen went to college there several years ago, and I paid her a visit.


Jen also tells me that her Nashville friends are jealous of her t-shirt. I don’t know how true that is, but it’s a pretty big compliment, so I’d like to believe it! Jen is also a photographer, and spent some time traveling around Europe, as well as shooting an amazing portrait book called “Faces,” for her church. You can check out her work by clicking here: jenmphotography.com. Personally, I think Jen has an amazing knack for product photography, which you can especially see in her website sections called “places,” and “things.”

Photo credit: Anonymous Nashville Correspondent.

Rocket Cat

Wanting to further explore the medium of “t-shirt,” I created a custom design for my friend as a thank-you gift for letting me have a photo shoot in his apartment.

I call this design, “Rocket Cat.” I drew the stencil onto a piece of cardboard and cut it out with a swiss army knife (because I couldn’t find my exacto). Then I bought some fabric paint (yellow and orange), and an American Apparel “summer shirt,” in a nice, gray-ish turquoise.

For several weeks, I ran around the apartment singing, “ROCKET CAT!” to the tune of Elton John’s “Rocket Man,” and finally, today, I painted the design onto the shirt. I was so thrilled with it, that I picked up the extra fabric paint I had bought just because I liked the color (magenta), and immediately started on a t-shirt of my own.

“‘Cause I’m a rocket cat. Rocket cat!”

Car Accident Anniversary

Seven years ago Monday, I was in a traumatic car accident. Luckily, all but the car and the tree survived (I was a passenger), but I came away with a head injury and a chronic neck injury. Having the injuries and the trauma caused me to go deep within my psyche looking for answers to a lot of hard questions, like why do bad things happen? was I given this lifetime to do something more important? and if so, what? how does one use mind over matter to learn to strengthen and recover?


What has been really great is that with regular exercise, I can keep the neck pain to a minimum. Not that I wish for pain, but just that I know it is within my power to minimize it, has shown me a lot about what humans have to deal with in their lives, and how great it feels to be able to take charge of oneself. It has been amazing to see the progress I have made, and it has shown me that the stuff that humans are made of is powerful stuff! We have the capacity to not just know our limits, also to know how to gently test them. We have the ability to envision ourselves in a healthier state, and figure out how to let ourselves heal. I haven’t perfected it – goodness knows I have very stiff neck days, sometimes shoulder pain, and sometimes a clicky jaw. But I have had enough success to know that it is always possible to improve, that we don’t have to just wither as we mature, but in fact, we can use our maturing selves to develop patience and persistence.


The images with this posting are photographs I took of my CT scan, my MRI, and my neck x-rays. When these medical images were made, I was terrified! I hated looking at images of my body, thinking it was going to fail me, seeing only evidence of its imperfections. Now I look at them, and I think – WOW! That is just a tiny fragment of all of the amazing stuff that’s going on inside of me – just what they were able to record in that specific way. There is so much wonder going on inside me, and actually, the problems are quite small in the grand scheme of my body. I can see the little spurs on my vertebrae and the congestion around my jaw, and go, “There are those little problem areas – they need extra love! That’s why it’s so great that I keep up with my yoga practice!” The x-rays were from years ago, and I have no idea if I have done enough muscle work (or if this is even possible!) to have created any improvements to my spine – but I know I have learned how to not make it worse, and how to make myself feel as good as I can, even with my body’s areas of sensitivity. This is an amazing thing! When I think about my thoughts and feelings, I see that I have changed DRAMATICALLY in the past seven years – I have gone from feeling fearful and always thinking that more terrible things could happen to my body at any moment, to feeling empowered and joyous and always thrilled at the strength I have been able to build, and looking forward to more improvements in my physical body.


Seven years is a long time, and by the standard western concept, I have “aged” a lot during that time. But I actually think, that by doing what I was inclined to do to empower myself over this trauma (too much to even begin recount here!), that I have learned a much more natural and youthful perception of myself – that I can trust this body, and I can take care of it, and it will take care of me.


At some point in time, I bought a copper necklace with a little square charm – the charm is a tiny little square photograph of a tree, coated in resin. I call it “my copper tree necklace.” I learned that copper is very good for aches, and so it was very appropriate to have it hanging around my neck, maybe even beneficial. I like to think of that tiny image of the tree as the symbol of the tree that jarred me awake into my physical body. I like to wear it around my neck as a gentle reminder of my gratitude – for my life, for that tree, for all of life, for my physical body, for life in all its physical forms – as a reminder that a purpose can be found in the most unlikely and unwanted of events.

Brooklyn Excursion with Keith Powell

My friend Keith Powell and I had a fun-filled excursion around Brooklyn, to take photos for his hilarious, forthcoming website. One might recognize Keith from the cast of NBC’s 30 Rock – he plays Toofer.

There were a lot of fun things about this shoot with Keith – the first of which is that he is hilarious. He is silly, in the way of a young, intelligent boy, and had me cracking stupid jokes and singing in a goofy high-pitched voice all day. That’s just what hanging out with Keith makes you want to do. He’s super smart, yet you want to act like a seven-year-old around him.

We went down to a park on a pier in Red Hook, and Keith posed in places of varying levels of restriction, unafraid, and dedicated to getting the right “feel” for the hilarious art we were making. We stopped by my friends’ bakery, Baked, for some lunch and sweet treats – thanks to Matt for introducing us to the Whoopie Pies – they were amazing!

Keith, being a fan of irony, really wanted to make a funny photo of himself in a suit juxtaposed with a touch of silliness – like a helium balloon, or other random prop. (I always say you can find anything in New York City, but I now revise that by saying, you can’t always find a helium balloon in Carroll Gardens.) Keith spotted a snorkeling set in the toy section of CVS, and with a knowing glance, I helped him select a fluorescent green set.

I cried laughing when we were in the park, trying to get the shot of Keith in a suit and snorkeling mask, blowing a giant pink bubble. I cried. I collapsed on the sidewalk in the park with tears streaming down my face. I said, “Keith! I can’t shoot, I’m laughing too hard!”

Keith was undaunted by my tears, and continued posing in the mask.

Finally, we got a Flash-Gordon-inspired shot of Keith running like a blur through the frame down an adorable Brooklyn side street, and called it a day. “Working” with Keith was one of the most hysterical things I’ve done in my adult life. It truly made me feel like a kid, and I remembered why I am an artist in the first place – to honor that little kid that I have always been.


To see more photos, check out Keith’s website at http://powelltothepeople.net/

Spring in Philadelphia – Field Trip

I went meandering through the sweet neighborhood of Manayunk, in Philadelphia. The trees were budding, the sky was blue, algae was amassing in the canal… It was a brisk and beautiful day! Manayunk is a cool little area with lots of adorable shops and cafes – it reminded me, oddly, of Seattle combined Ann Arbor – or perhaps just of a time in my life when I lived in Ann Arbor and visited Seattle. In my journal, I wrote

“Something funny about these little town-like neighborhoods in the U.S. – like they’re trying to be something, and they’re partially succeeding, but one isn’t sure exactly how or what they’re doing right or wrong. It’s kind of cheesy, yet sweet, and makes you think of moms having lunch dates and older women buying colorful jewelry and college students buying incense and ironic posters.” The vibe is that of a sort of a safe-feeling liberalism, where art is appreciated and they very strictly enforce the parking meters.

In any case, I had a lovely day there. I bought the paper for the sun prints (below), and a cute pair of new shoes; I strolled along behind the shops where the Manayunk canal flows next to an old train line. The sun was shining and everything was bursting with new life. Cheesy? Perhaps. Adorable? Pretty likely.